An Old Man with new tricks
by MaHaL1337
Summary: What happens when one of Captain Unohana's subordinates from her days before the Gotei 13 accidentally crashes a Captains Meeting? Oneshot.


**Alright story number 2 is officially some kind of success. Anyway couldn't get anything down for continuing the Black Lagoon fic so it'll probably stay a oneshot for the rest of time but there are plans for a couple more set in that universe where Rojas will show up every now and then so fear not. That said, on to this story, wherein someone who I choose to believe existed in some form but was never mentioned in canon Bleach shows up and completely ruins Unohana's reputation for all but 4 other captains, he is none other than Unohana Yachiru's right hand man from her time as the most infamous criminal in Soul Society. Now, background vaguely explained, let the games begin!**

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The Captain's meeting was in progress when the Captain of the 11th division, Zaraki Kenpachi started laughing and Unohana stiffened like her spine was made of steel. A second later as Kyouraku was about to ask what was going on they all felt it, a reiatsu so overwhelming the lieutenants were driven to their knees and Oumaeda was knocked unconscious, the Captain-Commander's eyes widened and then, after a second that felt like an eternity the doors exploded off their rails and a blur entered the room before stopping at Unohana's feet and revealing itself.

In the silence that had fallen after the doors were blown open each captain examined the figure prostrating itself to Unohana, they wore a threadbare cloak mottled grey and green stained with beige patches of sand over a chinese coat of plates, zanpakuto carried in the style of Captain Sui-Feng with the brown ends of the hilt and sheath poking out on either side. Concealing their head was a monk's straw hat, with unwashed white hair in dozens of tightly braided ponytails spilled around them and would probably reach their ankles if they stood. After a moment they spoke in a deep dry voice, as if the desert itself had learned to speak.

"Lady Unohana I, apologize for my failure to recruit the Las Noches Vasto Lorde enclave to our side for the planned elimination of the Central 46. Initial negotiations failed and following the clan's laws I, eliminated the enclave. Over half the fools escaped so I took it upon myself to hunt and... _remove_ them. Only this week did I take the head of the last fool, Barragan he removed his mask and became more like a powered soul. I infiltrated a fortress full of hollows like him, the fortress also had some of that damned Genryu's gang. A blind one noticed me but he was the only one, I took his head as well because I believe you put a bounty on Genryu's fools."

As he produced a bag full of round lumps with dried blood covering the bottom and set it in front of him silence reigned, it was apparent that everyone was shocked speechless. Nearly a third of a minute passed before Unohana spoke, and when she did it was in a tone of voice none save the other 5 oldest shinigami in the room recognized and could fathom her capable of using. Cold and hard like a sword blade while cutting twice as deep, it was the tone of a madwoman on the verge of her next massacre.

"Kerai, does this look like the time for you to be giving me news on an attempt to assassinate the Central 46?" The now named Kerai went from a prostrating position to merely kneeling before her and took a look around, eyes sweeping the room and pausing for an instant on the Captain-Commander before stopping for a full second on Kenpachi. When he finally spoke it was without hesitation in the face of what many would consider death itself.

"Lady Unohana, I recognize the tall one with the eyepatch. I gave him that sword little over a century before you assigned me this mission. The scar looks like one from your blade yet he still lives. I am going to assume you found him worthy of training. I also see no reason not to boast to that insufferable fool Genryu that your servants are capable of eliminating Vasto Lorde enclaves while his fools remain incapable of controlling any district past the 10th."

"I will say this once, so listen well you gutter-born idiot." Unohana hissed out, vehemence increasing with each word. "We lost. The clan is no more and we all serve in Genryu's guard now. We could kill him but he has two sons nearly at my level and a right hand strong enough to give him his first scar since the last time he escaped one of your ambushes. If it wasn't for being useful I would have been executed 2 millennia ago after we sealed the Quincy." Kerai quickly took in this massive influx of information with nothing more than a widening of eyes which quickly returned to their narrowed state.

"Lady Unohana surely vengeance for the clan is possible with me and your student here." She only sighed at his refusal to accept defeat, it seemed to be something branded into his psyche, she assumed he had died on that mission 2200 years ago before she had joined the Gotei 13, but to spend all the time between now and then hunting down nearly 2 dozen Vasto Lordes in Hueco Mundo itself with no support. Clearly she had underestimated her old right hand, his stubbornness was greater than any save the Soul King could have predicted, such a shame she had to explain this to the young ones. When she spoke her voice had returned to the tone all present were familiar with but the memory of what she could be was burned into their memories and would never be forgotten.

"Kerai, no. It's over and we had our time in the sun, no longer. Stand down." He quietly complied and took what he considered his proper place, sitting at her right side when the Captain-Commander broke the silence that had fallen in the wake of the stunning exchange that just taken place.

"Captain Unohana, I suppose we should reveal your past to the room beyond me, Juushirou, Shunsui, Sasakibe and Zaraki." With that a sordid tale of blood and death was woven by the three oldest living beings outside of the Soul King's Palace, Kerai's quiet sighs of contentment when Yamamoto recounted a particularly brutal attack and equally quiet interjection of "It was excellent work Lady Unohana." when he recounted the tale of how they emptied District 80 East, once the stronghold of one of the greatest 20 warlords before the Gotei 13 of its population singlehandedly in the most brutal action ever carried out in the history of Soul Society, did not help. When they reached the part where Unohana told of how Yamamoto approached her with his offer to have her join the Gotei 13 she declared the story over and decided that everyone had heard enough of the story before briefly summing up her first 2 centuries as a Captain.

"I founded the 11th division and served as the first Kenpachi until when I was clearing rogue warriors out of the Zaraki District. I met a nameless young man with a asauchi his reiastu had forced into a personal form and we fought. He gave me my first scar, and I nearly cut one of his eyes out but spared him when I realized his potential. When I came back I served as Kenpachi for a while longer but when the Captain of the 4th taught me healing techniques and was promoted I took his place and have served as the 4th's Captain ever since." When she mentioned the young man without a name no one in the room had missed how she deliberately gave the Zaraki no Kenpachi a look, but only Kerai and Yamamoto noticed that both of them had, for an instant, sported matching blushes. What Saskibe noticed however was something entirely different.

"Sir, Lieutenants Oumaeda and Kotetsu have both fallen unconscious." He spoke to Yamamoto, but loud enough all could hear him and when the Captains spared a moment to assess their Lieutenants, it showed his words were very true and the rest were in varying states of horror or sickness with only Lieutenants Kusajishi and Kurotsuchi maintaining some form of composure though every time Kusajishi's eyes wandered to Kerai, Unohana or Yamamoto she would move slightly closer to her Captain/adopted father. After a moment Captain Hitsugaya spoke up.

"So, what do we do with him?" That question sparked a round of comments from all corners, ranging from Captain Kuchiki's stoic call for execution to Kenpachi calling for a duel between him and Kerai as well as Kurotsuchi's usual request for another test sbject. Letting the argument wash over him Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni stood calmly for several minutes while the Captains debated before clearing his throat and opening his mouth to speak in the ensuing calm.

"As Captain-Commander of The Gotei 13, with the power invested in me by the Central 46, who are the representatives of the Soul King, I Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni First Captain-Commander of The Gotei 13 do hereby offer amnesty to Kerai the Headhunter, Right Hand of the 8000 Deaths criminal group for the following crimes:

One account of High Treason, Innumerable accounts of Treason, Murder in the First, Second, and Third degrees, Manslaughter, Homicide, Arson, Illegal Torture, Extortion, Assault, Destruction of Property Public and Private, Murder of a member of one of The Five Noble Houses, Slaughter of a Noble House, partaking in the banned sport of Headhunting, and innumerable minor crimes.

As compensation for the extermination of 3 dozen Vasto Lorde class hollows, and the bringing one Tousen Kaname, former Captain of the 9th division to justice, on the condition that he swears himself into service as a member of the Gotei 13." The silence that followed was deafening, the Captains were incredulous, though for different reasons.

Kenpachi by the sheer level of destruction the man was capable of causing, their fight would be great!

Sui-Feng, Komamura, Kuchiki, and Hitsugaya by the fact that he had commited so many crimes and wasn't going to be executed.

Ukitake and Kyouraku by the fact he had fought Yama-jii and lived.

And Kurotsuchi by the fact he couldn't experiment on this man. So many wasted opportunities.

After a moment of silence Captain Unohana spoke once more.

"He accepts." Some younger members of the younger captains were incensed by this seeming removal of choice but many of the older captains knew better. For someone like him what his master commanded was higher than gospel, if Unohana had told him to try and murder the Soul King with nothing but a butter knife and forbidden from kido than he would have given it his best shot. Yamamoto knew this as well, during the only negotiation he had every attempted with the 8000 Deaths the man had remained silent the entire time after Unohana casually ordered him to shut up at the start, not even making a noise with his breathing, or when directly asked a question until she ordered him to speak. Kerai's sheer power combing with loyalty and stubbornness even he considered slightly absurd Yamamoto had figured there was only one place to put this man, if his deeds still let him be called a man. He spoke for the last time in the meeting.

For all others in the room, when the Captain-Commander spoke it was like the tolling of a bell, it rang throughout the chamber and was impossible to ignore or deny.

"Then rise, and leave to become familiar with your division Captain of the 3rd. All of you are dismissed."

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 **So, what do you guys think, decent enough right? I'm not going to be winning any awards but it's not terrible, or so I like to think. Moving on from author commentary, just to satisfy my mental images, the style of armour I'm talking about is the stuff you would see on the Terracotta Warriors from the First Chinese Emperors tomb. That said, please review and do the other assorted shenanigans that go with it. Hopefully it'll be less than 8 months before the next story. Anyway hope you enjoyed it, Mahal out.**


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